In a child’s development, mother and father play different yet complementary roles. Common wisdom is that fathers play a paternal role, and mothers play a maternal role. While this is generally true, the maternal and paternal roles, while primarily associated with and exercised by the mother and father, respectively, are broader than the person itself. In other words, the maternal and paternal roles are the practical expression of what could be generalized as the maternal and paternal functions.

A function, in the word’s sense that is relevant to parenthood, is an activity or purpose natural or intended for a person or thing. The following question then becomes relevant: What is the maternal function, and what is the paternal function in a child’s development? As mentioned above and as part of the definition, each function is associated with a person. When this association becomes prescriptive (i.e., when used as a normative way of determining how a person should act), it becomes the maternal and paternal role. But if the function is not turned into a prescription and thus remains a function, it is easier to analyze how each of the two impacts a child’s development and how and why they are important.

What is the maternal function?

The maternal function is primarily concerned with nurturing. From a biological standpoint, human beings are mammals. One of the main characteristics of mammals as they compare to other biological taxonomic classes, is that their offspring’s first form of nourishment comes directly from their mother in the form of milk. This biological characteristic has, as can easily be imagined, profound implications.

One of the most important of those implications is a practical one. Once the baby is born, it needs to be physically close to the mother, as the baby’s survival depends on it - it is simply the source from where the baby gets the food it needs. As time passes and the baby grows, this practical implication becomes less determinant because the baby can get sustenance from other sources. For example, around six months is generally understood to be a good time to start giving a baby solid foods.

After breastfeeding, the maternal function remains primarily concerned with nurturing because even after the baby is no longer dependent on breast milk, it still needs to be nurtured. The form of that nourishment changes, and as the child grows, it slowly but steadily becomes more abstract. For example, children need emotional recognition and support during the process of becoming capable of understanding and handling their emotions independently. The maternal function in parenthood is thus responsible for ensuring the baby continues to get that nourishment in whatever form it takes at any given point in the child’s development.

What is the paternal function?

On the other hand, the paternal function is primarily concerned with independence. As explained above, the maternal function is charged with making sure the child has the necessary nourishment. The paternal function complements that nourishment by helping the child to slowly but surely develop the necessary tools to eventually become independent of that nourishment provided by the maternal function. In other words, the paternal function introduces the child to the world out there beyond the maternal nourishment. It provides them with the necessary support to eventually become successful in that world, mainly through being able to participate in it independently.

Play or exploring is an example of how the paternal function materializes in a child’s life. Going to the park, playing a sport, or simply doing some kind of activity away from the safety of the home exposes the child to the outside world and allows them to interact and thus eventually be able to dominate the challenges that it presents. The key here is to understand that the paternal function is the safe and controlled limit to the maternal nourishment that, if left unchecked, could remove a child from the path of eventually becoming independent of that nourishment.

Differences between the maternal and paternal function

The two functions materialize in practice differently, in at least three ways:

How fathers interact with children vs. how mothers interact

Fathers (the term understood as the parent exercising the paternal function as opposed to the maternal one) have a tendency to interact with their children using their bodies. This interaction evolves as the baby grows, so it can manifest as tossing the child in the air or tickling when they are babies to hiking and going to the park when they age. 

On the other hand, mothers (again, the term understood as the parent exercising the maternal function) tend to use objects around them to interact with their children. And this interaction also evolves as the baby grows, so it can manifest early in a child’s life by playing with stuffed animals or other toys, and can eventually become more complex activities, like cooking together.

How fathers talk to children vs. how mothers do

Mothers, naturally inclined to be more empathetic with the child due to their role as nourishers, tend to communicate with the child by imitating their babbling or using baby talk. The father tends to interact with the child by communicating with them as though they were talking to another adult or at least a more linguistically developed child.

Neither is good or bad, it is just what each of the two functions tends to manifest when communicating to the child. In fact, it could be argued that both ways of communicating complement each other and help the child’s linguistic development. The mother, with its emphatic way of addressing the child, makes it easier for the child to realize that other people can understand them, and the father helps the child be exposed to more complex forms of communication, pushing them to develop their linguistic skills further.

The science behind the maternal and paternal roles

The dichotomic distinction between maternal and paternal function and the ensuing sociocultural manifestations of the maternal and paternal roles have their biological manifestations, too. This is the case with the Y chromosome, which is only present in males and can serve as a tracer to paternal lineages. In the case of females, there is mitochondrial DNA, which is passed to both males and females exclusively from the mother.

Can fathers be maternal?

The short answer is simply yes. As said above, if the prescriptive nature of the maternal and paternal roles is put aside, one can conceive a father being maternal. In other words, the father is not constrained to only his paternal role and can perform tasks or provide his children with support that is commonly more associated with a mother’s role.

There are probably countless examples of this cross-functional approach. Still, a broadly known image that illustrates this is that of an unyielding father who, in the face of deep emotional distress on the part of his child, does not provide the emotional support the child needs. In such cases, the father, exercising the maternal function in that specific moment, could empathize with his child, recognize their feelings, and emotionally reassure them.

Can mothers be paternal?

The short answer, as above, is again simply yes. Mothers can and most likely should sometimes be paternal, too. Just like in the father's case, the mother should not limit herself to the role she is naturally inclined to play. This will most likely take the form of a mother being less empathetic and more strict and disciplined with her children in a given case. Such could be the situation where a mother, in the face of an academically struggling child, could insist they organize themselves better and continue to press on with their academic endeavors versus agreeing with the child’s feeling that it is too big of a challenge for them.

Conclusion

There are biological elements, such as DNA differences; natural tendencies; and sociocultural elements, such as the expected gender roles in parenthood, that push a mother and a father to perform the maternal and paternal functions, respectively. While this is perfectly fine, it is also worth realizing that either of the two could momentarily perform the function of the other, complementing each other as needed. Ultimately, the goal is to provide the child with the necessary resources, support, and love to develop their full potential.